Ever felt the itch to vandalize metropolitan property with the cool swagger of a 90s skate punk while rocking to a kickin' soundtrack? No, we’re not planning a time machine back to the days of baggy jeans and frosted tips. We're actually talking about the return of the cult classic Jet Set Radio in a shiny new HD coat! That's right, your problematic fave from the days of Dreamcast is getting a second shot at stardom, and this time everyone's invited to the roller disco.
For those who missed the neon-colored boat the first time around, Jet Set Radio has you join a gang of rollerbladers tagged the GGs. Your mission: to skate, grind, and tag your way through a stylized Tokyo-to, leaving your artistic mark while dodging the fuzz. If Tony Hawk and Banksy had a digital baby, this would probably be it.
Sega's going all out, swearing on their Dreamcast-shaped heart they’ve learned from past remastering mishaps. They're hoping that Jet Set Radio HD isn't just going to be a trip down memory lane but a full-blown revival of the glory days. As your guide through this retro-remastered world, I'll let you in on a secret: sometimes things are better left in the past. Much like that neon windbreaker in the back of your closet – it's nostalgic, sure, but is it really what you want to be wearing today?
Jet Set Radio burst onto the scene back when Y2K was a bigger concern than our current adulting woes. Game shelves were heaving under the weight of titles eager to show off flair and polygons. Among that lineup, Jet Set Radio stood out, mostly because your average Joe hadn't actually played it. The game was more like an underground mixtape - everyone knew someone who had it, but nobody quite knew where to get it. Even with its 2002 sequel, Jet Set Radio Future for the Xbox, happening, most people didn’t really dive in.
You see, Jet Set Radio HD is like a time capsule. The moment you start the game, you're transported back to the days of less-than-64-bit glory. The music hits the spot, a perfect blend of electronic, hip-hop, and utter nonsense that somehow makes you want to paint the town red, well, neon green. The visuals? They're like a Saturday morning cartoon decided to take its art class seriously - full of cel-shaded sass and attitude. The style is so thick you could slice it with a knife, and it still oozes cool.
But what's style without substance? This is where our friend Jet Set Radio HD starts to stagger like a newbie at the rink. Controls that once felt adventurous now seem to have a mind of their own, guiding your skater into the loving embrace of obstacles instead of smooth grinds and sharp turns. The camera, seemingly trained by an overzealous toddler, swings with a dizzying frenzy, making you wonder if the real game is actually just a test for motion sickness.
And let’s talk about the level design – if you can call it 'design'. It's like navigating a labyrinth constructed by someone whose only point of reference was a dream they half-remembered. It’s full of dead-ends, random jumps, and police officers that must have graduated top of their class at the Academy of Annoying Pursuit.
Nostalgia, oh sweet nostalgia, it's a tricky thing. It masks the flaws of yesteryear with a rose-tinted filter, letting us forget why we’ve moved on to bigger, more polished gaming pastures. Jet Set Radio HD might have the swagger of a rock star making a comeback tour, but it's also got the creaking knees and outdated jokes. What was once groundbreaking now feels like it should stay buried underground.
Yet, in the end, despite its quirks and foibles, Jet Set Radio HD is a love letter to a bygone era—a historical document for the gaming archeologist in all of us. It’s the chance for old fans to relive their rebellious youth and for newcomers to experience what the fuss was all about. It’s an experience flawed yet fascinating, frustrating yet fun; a rollerblading contradiction that’s definitely worth a skate, even if just for the novelty of seeing where we’ve been. If nothing else, Jet Set Radio HD reminds us that while it's okay to visit the past, we should maybe leave the tagging (and the neon windbreakers) behind.
