Ever felt the inexplicable urge to don shoulder pads, grow a mustache, and clean up the mean streets of the '80s in the most colorfully kitsch way possible? Well, button up that pastel suit, because "Rough Justice: '84" is about to slide a brick phone and a set of loaded dice your way, all in the name of nostalgic, strategic fun.
Picture this: The neon signs are buzzing, the saxophones are wailing, and the streets are crawling with two-bit crooks wearing chains thick enough to anchor a ship. That's where you swing in with your crew of morally flexible rule-benders. You've just hung up your shingle for the newest security agency in town, and business is, well, risky at best.
Your office is a smokey room with blinds that aren't strangers to a good dusting of bullet holes, a landline with more crossed wires than reliable connections, and a coffee machine that's probably seen the better part of the disco era. This isn't just any security gig; this is the '80s, baby, and it's time to strategize like your shoulder pads depend on it.
As the head of your ragtag group of wannabe sleuths and muscle-for-hire, you'll navigate the treacherous waters of gang territories with nothing but your wits, a deck of action cards, and the shake, rattle, and roll of Lady Luck's dice. It's part strategy, part blind chance, and all parts tubular.
The game unfolds across a table-wide map of the city, split up like a Risk board that got into a fight with a Rubik's Cube – all squares, colors, and territories that scream ownership. And much like the real '80s, ownership meant everything. You've got the red blocks, the green blocks, and oh, look out for the black blocks, that's where the real shady characters linger, and they listen to synth-pop.
With action cards that could be anything from a lucky break like finding an informant who knows too much (and talks too loud), to the "buddy cop" card, where you quite literally throw your partner under the bus – for justice, of course. Remember, in the '80s, sacrificing your partner is practically a sign of affection.
Let's talk about your team, the loyal goons and sharp detectives that make Magnum P.I. look like amateurs. They've got skills that come in handy, like "expert interrogation techniques," which is code for convincing crooks that fashion crimes are the least of their worries. But those skills require dice rolls that can be as reliable as a chocolate teapot. Roll low, and it's as if your detective suddenly forgot how to detective. Roll high, and you crack the case wide open, earning respect, cash, and those sweet, sweet shoulder pads of victory.
Here’s where it gets as tangled as a cassette tape chewed up by a boombox – the betrayals. Oh, the betrayals! They're hotter and more frequent than the saxophone solos in a soft rock anthem. You thought your buddy was helping you take down the mob boss? Joke's on you! He was the mob boss, wearing a very convincing Groucho Marx disguise. The trick is to always keep one eye on the prize and the other on the stab-proof vest catalogue.
As the game progresses, your influence over the city increases. You're buying police precincts like they're going out of fashion (which, let's be honest, in theme with the '80s, happens a lot). You're rolling enough sixes to make you feel like a disco king or queen, and you're taking down kingpins faster than you can say "Miami Vice."
But beware, the city evolves, and so do the crimes. They start simple, like a round of "Who stole the leg warmers?" to complex white-collar crimes where the perpetrators wear their hair in slicked-back ponytails and call their lawyers first-name basis. You've got to adapt, dust off your Pictionary skills for those wild detective sketches, and ensure your crew's mullets are sharpened – because in this game, the mullet is mightier than the sword.
Through the fog of hairspray and the glare of neon lights, emerge victorious or watch your 8-bit-style empire crumble like a house of cards in an earthquake. Will you have what it takes to stake your claim as the top '80s security agency? Or will you be fated to watch reruns of your failures on a wood-paneled TV set, thinking about what could have been if only you had rolled a six when it mattered most?
Grab your buddies, your sense of humor, and maybe your old Walkman, because "Rough Justice: '84" is bringing back the '80s in a way that's so immersive; you'll be checking your pockets for arcade tokens and looking over your shoulder for the fashion police. It's time to play like the past depends on it, and who knows? With enough luck and strategy, you just might make the '80s proud.
